A letter to a younger me...

Last night, the bestie and I went to a leisure center close to her place for a walk.
We decided to run & walk in preparation for our run in July!

We kicked the tracks ass! It was amazing to run with this girl.

We both motivated each other to keep running and it felt so good!

Natalya is starting on the C25K again!!

Except last night, she basically blew week 1,2 & 3 out of the water!

 

A little sweaty (I swear I do look good most times)... but much happier knowing we just pounded out 5k!

One day in future, we'd both like to participate in....

 

<3

 

Now, a letter to little Lauren:

 

Dear Little Lauren,

 

Let's start out by saying... when Dad tells you "life sucks, get a helmet." listen. He's right.

Mom putting you into kindergarden a year early, ends up working out for the best. Go with it.

When SPARKS teaches you to share and be a good friend... do it.

 

You're going to hate school. You also, won't be the greatest with academics. But you'll be damned if you don't do your best. People aren't going to be nice to you. They're gunna talk behind your back, leave you out of all the secrets, call you awful names like "oompaloompa" and "heffer". Ocassionally, they'll even slap you around a little. The sooner you stop taking it personally, the better. You'll ultimately end up in a better head space because of these people, believe it or not.

 

In high school, you'll have a really hard time fitting in. Your weight is your biggest issue. When that boy breaks up with you and leaves you standing in the hall crying by yourself, chin up! And for the love of god, don't stop eating for two weeks because you think he broke up with you because you're too fat. There's more going on with him. It's not all about you. Later on, he ends up being one of your greatest friends. Speaking of "it's not all about you" learn that shit quick.

 

In grade 12, you'll find a niche... finally. Theatre becomes your home, your life and you'll finally feel safe and comfortable somewhere. Also, you'll kick ass and have a really great time. && you'll become really good friends with someone who becomes your best friend later! She's pretty effin amazing! Oh and Grad sucks, don't get your hopes up!

 

After high school, don't panic. Everyone's going to go to University & College. You DON'T have to... seriously. Take some time to figure out what you really want to do. Don't go to school for someone elses benefit. There's going to be a huge change in your life, take every second of it. Feel it all, breathe it in cause a few years down the road... you're going to extremely thankful that every single millisecond of that happened. It'll change your life.

 

Finally, you're amazing the way you are, you are beautiful, worthy and deserving of so many great things. The earlier you can grasp this, the better off your self confidence would be.

 

You are loved.





My Weekend Recap

Happy Monday!!!!!!!!!!
I used to hate Monday's... but I just decided one day that maybe they could potentially awesome if I thought about it being a fresh start... So here I am...

My weekend was BUSY... but OH SO GREAT!
I had a really positive start on Friday...
Yup, I did it. I was the crazy ass girl running on the treadmill at 8 pm on a Friday night, crying because I had just run for 20 minutes straight at a 5.0 pace.
This is a HUGE accomplishment for me y'all.
I did Mama Laughlin's checklist in my head...

Do my feet hurt? No.
Do my calves hurt? No.
Do my knees hurt? No.
Do my hips hurt? No.
Keep Freakin Running, then.

I just kept saying to myself, meh, I could run a little further... and before I knew it....

BOOM!

 

And just for kicks, I threw in some spin after wards...

 

On Saturday, I also kicked the scales ass at my weight watchers meeting... 1.9 lbs down for the week! This is also huge for me.. I've been having a hard time at the scales over the past few weeks, so this really brightened my morning.

Bestie and I went for a rather long walk - We walked across the High Level and back!

It was awesome!

Then we went shopping for our sweet Ms. Sophie's 2nd Birthday!

 

Sunday, I had the absolute best start to my morning! I went and cheered on Miss. Ali.

She was kickin ass at a half marathon! She finished at 1:52:59!

Ali has been a HUGE inspiration for me. She's one of the main reasons I've started to run.

She's such a great girl, we work in the same office and without a doubt, she's been a ray of sunshine to my days!

Some of her girlfriends were waiting at the last km mark of her race with her boyfriend Darryl.
We were so excited to see her cross the finish line!

 

 

Thanks for being freakin awesome, Klipper!

 

And drum roll please...........

 

 

 

MISS SOPHIE TURNS TWO

This child loves being naked, plus she has the best sense of humor already...

That's straight from her mom and dad!

It was a Super Hero themed birthday!
Pretty Freakin Rad!

 

 

It's crazy the amount of love I have for these two!

They make me so happy whenever I get time with them!

Best way to spend a Sunday!

<3  

 

 

 

 

 

 



Pits and Peaks

I made it to Friday... Thank you Sweet, sweet Baby Jesus!

Pits and Peaks y'all! 

Linking Up from Hang On, Honey!

 

 

Pits

- Strep Throat. Nuff said.

- Alberta weather... somewhat cold/warm! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!

 

 

Peaks

- An excuse to go to sleep at 9 pm

- Administrative Appreciation week! Lots of thank you's! Always nice to feel appreciated!

- I'm wearing sandals today... and a maxi dress! BOOM! Suck it, Winter!

 

 

 

Damn straight I went to the bathroom at work and took this... #judgeme

 

Many thanks to all the loves in my life! You pull me through these ruts, & I come out stronger than ever. Thank you for the constant love and support you give me!

 

This weekend, I'm going to Miss Sophie's 2nd birthday...

I can't believe that she is already 2!!!

I've been around since she was just a few months old.

 

 

Also this weekend, I am committing to a workout tonight (cardio and weights), a run & walk tomorrow morning and Zumba on Sunday!

 I'll let you know how it goes!


XOXO
L

 

 

writers block...

Hey y'all...

I'm experiencing major writers block lately, so I'm just going to talk about whats been goin on lately and how things are progressing with my weight.

So... This week I haven't been eating very well... I totes ate a whole bag of peanut m&m's the other day and haven't been getting my daily recommended servings of fruits or vegetables.
In all honesty though, I haven't been trying.

I had a major breakdown with my doctor about my weight loss. I asked if there was a nutrtionist that I could see to help me get my eating habits on track. She suggested a Lifestyle Coach who will go grocery shopping with you and find all the good stuff and what you're missing in your diet.
I'm going to meet with her in June.

I've been feeling pretty crummy these past few days, probably because I have strep throat yet again. I managed to go to Zumba on Sunday and Tuesday, missed spin last night cause I was pretty sure I got hit by a train, and am tettering with the idea of going to the gym tonight (cough, probably not, cough). Not alot of motivation for this girl... even with a loss last week at my weigh in, I'm finding it hard to keep motivated when I'm not seeing the results I used to.

Onwards and Upwards... I'm going to Link Up today with these new found lovely ladies for

Celebrate Your True Beauty!

 

 

 

Already a lot of the link up's I've read, have mentioned this is a really difficult post.

I couldn't agree more.

Here it goes....

 

1. My freckles, birth marks and beauty marks. I have quite a few on my shoulders and back... I just really like them because no one else has them exactly like mine.

 

2. My nails, I can grow some pretty nails. For some reason though, I still want the shellac or gel nails all the time. They just look so pretty and they are always done.

 

3. Blue Eyes... I have my daddy's baby blues! I also have this really unique yellow halo that surrounds my pupil from time to time. It's neat!

 

 

Okay, so it wasn't that bad... but I will admit, I wrote out number 3 as something about my personality and then realized it HAD to be about my looks... so backspaceeeee.

 

 

My cousin and I had a coffee date this past weekend, and we were discussing how sad it is that so many women struggle so much with how they look, their weight, style, etc. It really is quite sad to see so many of us blogging about our weight loss struggles, how we have a hard time believeing we are beautiful and so on.

 

Speaking of beautiful, Just going to praise on my bestie... She is just finishing her first 5 weeks of student teaching! From all her stories, and evaluations it sounds like she has seriously made an impression on this school. I couldn't BE more PROUD!

 

 

Also another shout out to my beauty of a cousin whose getting married in June! I am SO excited to spend this day with you. I'm honored that you chose me to stand in your wedding party. I can't wait for your day!

 

 

 

XOXO

L

............... one of my biggest fears revealed .......................

The long wait is over, y'all!

I'm about to reveal one of my biggest fears in life...
There's a story that goes along with it, and it's what started my fear in the first place.

So, drum roll please...........................................................................

 

This statement, could NOT be more true.

BIRDS ARE FREAKIN SCARY, Y'ALL!!!!

This poor poor girl, I have felt this feeling before... it's sheer panic.

#peeyourpantspanic #foreals

 

So I went to Europe when I was in the 10th Grade. It was a trip of a lifetime, and I am still so grateful for the experience. We went on the trip to tour the Canadian Battlefields.

We travelled to France, Belgium and Holland. When we were in Amsterdam, I remember being in the middle area of this square. We were taking group photos and hanging out until our next move.

 

I can distinctly remember suddenly realizing that there were Piegons EVERYWHERE...

completely surrounding me... Thus began my fear of birds.
They are totally unpredictable.

They fly in giant flocks, and swoop.

It's scary as shit!

I feel like they are whispering...

 

 

Then, just the other day, I'm walking home from work when my sister in law points out TWO giant... GIANT geese sitting beside this sign.

I was terrified. They are huge and scary looking.
I know I'm not the only one with this fear. There's gotta be someone else.
So if you see some lady walking down the street and suddenly dropping into the fetal position, that's just me avoiding a bird that just scared the living be-jebus out of me.

 

Moving on... lets talk about The Pits & Peaks of my week:

 

Peaks:

- I got to spend my first night of the week with one of two of the greatest toddlers EVER...

I <3 Sophie!

- I got another glorious girlfriend walk in with my bestie!

- I saw a young guy walking a blind man across the street yesterday and it made. my. day! Bless his heart!

 

My Sophie enjoying worlds tiniest ice cream cone! Love this girl to bits!!!

 

 

Pits: *firstworldproblems

- I don't even feel it necessary to have any pits this week, considering whats going on in other parts of my world.

- My pits are dedicated to those struggling this week with whatever trauma you may have going on in your life. I send you love and light, and dedicate my suffering to you.

 

Now... I am just going to share some random photos from my week!

This morning was not my happiest... I arrived at work to find I had split a hole in my jeans...

 

URGH! (*nice crotch shot, moron!)

Please note, this hole has nothing to do with me... merely poor quality and my hulk like muscles. Makes sense right??

 

love this photo!
Please not, this is not me.
I WISH.. She's beautiful!

 

my new polka dot braclet... adding to my arm candy!
Obvie there needed to be polka dots in my week.

 

 

A gorgeous sight as I drove home from my walk/run yesterday!



 Have a good weekend y'all!

XO

L

 

APRIL FOOLS... Today's Link Up day instead!

Why Hello there,

Welcome to Hearts, Bows & Polka Dots!

Thanks for reading!

 

Thus far, I've only really had friends and family reading my blog.. which is AMAZEBALLS and thank you all for doing so!
 

After my random post from yesterday, I received a few Facebook messages and texts from the lovelies in my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your sweet, sweet messages. I feel your love and I return it with gratitude. I am so lucky to have you amazing people in my life who support me through the good and tough times!

Today's my very first Link Up!

I found Holly through Mama Laughlin and Skinny Megs! She is adorable and completely hilarious... I also really just love her blunt personality and sense of humor!

{check out Holly's blog here!}

 

Then through Holly, I caught onto this Link Up stuff... and found Jake...

Four letter word for HILARIOUS... J-A-K-E!

So sarcastic and just down right funny! Jake had me laughing out loud at my desk at work this morning! Thanks Jake!

{check out Jake's blog here!}

 

 

So here goes nothing...
Please join in if you are a blogger... or just send me a comment with some funny stories...
I love me some funny stories!

 



 

1. I laughed so hard I cried when... I watched the Screaming Goat video, then paired with Taylor Swift's "I knew you were trouble" Goat video.. Go now. Youtube it.

2. My high school... was a Catholic High School... so no fun was had... just kidding. It was nothing special.
3. It really pisses me off... when slow drivers are in the left lane and I'm in a hurry to get somewhere, so then I have to drive like an asshole to get around them...
4. In ten years... I'll be 32... I just died. That's a scary thought!
5. If I could erase one thing... the time at Lazer Tag... nuff said. If you don't know the story, I'm not re-telling it.
6. In 1999...  I was 9! That's right... I was in LOVE with the Spice Girls and shopped at Claire's for my jewels. Bad Ass Mother Effer, right here!

7. Honestly... I justified not going to spin class last night with the compromise of a walk with my brother and sister in law... at which time we just walked to Safeway (which is a good walk!) but we bought Cheetos.... WHEW I feel so much better with that off my chest.
8. To me, Sushi... is divine! But only every once in a while!
9. Someone really needs to invent... a hand that reaches through the phone to slap a bitch when you are frustrated with them. I get a crap tonne of stupid people who phone and swear at me when they can't get ahold of a broker... This function would be used often. It does pose the question, how often would I get slapped though?
10. The first time I drank alcohol... I was 14, at a Grade 9 party. I drank Molson Canadian Beer, and I cannot touch the stuff to this day!
11. The one question I would ask God is... could you please tell me where that "safe place" I seem to put everything in, is? 12. Lindsay Lohan... has limited days left. Gurl fran is gunna drop dead.

 

There you have it!

My first Link Up!

Be sure to wander over to Jake and Holly's blogs for some hilarious-ness this afternoon!

And tomorrow, I promise you'll finally find out what my fear is!

Happy Thirsty Thursday, Hookers!
XO
L

 

A peek at my OCD and ridiculous habits && Wild Wednesday's

Sorry for the rando post today loves...

Obvie when I say OCD, I don't really mean Obsessive compulsive disorder fo reals...
But I do have some tendancies.

1. I truly dislike a vehicle with different colored door handles on it. It needs to be all one color. As I'm car shopping right now, it's supremely frustrating because these models are the more expensive ones.

2. I cannot have any notifications left un-read/un-checked... voicemail, email, facebook, text... whatever it is, it'll drive me crazyyyy!

3. My car needs to be in neutral when I exit it. I drive a standard, and it cannot be left in first when I'm done driving. 

4. My desk at work is always full of paper work, couriers, mail, deliveries, slips and post its... but they have to be lined up in order that I need them done, and neatly piled together. If someone covers for me while I'm away... I normally come back like this...

5. I need to wet the toothbrush before I put toothpaste on it. I've tried not doing it and I'm not okay with it. That's totes normal right??

6. I will NOT have mis matched socks. It will drive me insane for the entire time I wear them. If I am missing a sock, I throw out the other one.

I'm sure there's more, but I can't think of any right now. Does anyone else have some hilarious habits/OCD tendancies like me??

Wednesday's are most known as hump days... Because you're over the hump of the week, or because people who are in relationships/just havin fun, hump on Wednesdays? I wouldn't know...

Moving on, I tend to enjoy a Wednesday. Except today, WHOA nelly was I a grump. Mainly just internally, which is good because in my job you really don't have the opportunity to be externally grumpy.
I figured out that I'm processing some lingering frustration from a crappy weight loss result at my last weigh in. I still CANNOT believe that I gained what I did. I feel like I've hit a wall.
I've been trying to eat squeaky clean this week, make sure I'm moving my body a LOT more than usual and also drinking at least 3 extra cups of water to help me out.
My sister and I went to Zumba on Sunday, and her first class teaching started last night. I've committed to a walk tonight, as well as a walk tomorrow with the Bestie!
I'm trying real hard this week y'all. I really hate being a Debbie Downer.

One thing I'm really struggling with is the self sabbotaging that I've been processing lately.
I have a real hate on, for myself.
I mean, it's significantly better than it has been.
But I've even caught myself saying OUT LOUD in an elevator, "Hey Fatty."

 

I was alone, ps.
What The Eff is that about?!
I'm going to shake this awful mood off when I walk out of work tonight.


Tomorrow's a new day.. One step at a time...

I suppose things could be worse!

 

Look forward to a hilarious post about one of my biggest fears revealed tomorrow...

DISCLAIMER: This is a LOT of personal information...

Today.. I'm talkin wax.
It makes some people cringe, scream and sometimes makes adults cry...

Or it makes you scream "OOOOOHHHH KELLY CLARKSON!" if you're Steve Carrell.

I was totes nervous for my first experience near hot wax... I mean, even when I was just getting my eyebrows done I was nervous.
My legs, didn't hurt at all.
But my Hoo Ha!?

 

Oh sweet lordie above... 

Why do we do these things to ourselves ladies? For me, it's just a maintenance thing. It's much easier and one less thing to worry about. It's a preference.

 

 

So here comes my story... the above is NO inclination to how the story goes...
I go into this spa place for my 2 or 3rd I can't remember, brazilian experience.
This TINY, and I mean TINY Russian woman, Sveta, who doesn't speak great english is in charge of this process.
I'm nervous, cause lets admit it... it doesn't feel great. It just doesn't.

She talks me up, makes me put my legs into frog position (*awkwardddddd*) ....
Then, she does it. She takes the hot wax near my southern parts...
I start breathing heavy, she pulls the wax away and says

"Honey, just breath... just breath honey."

Me in my mind: Lady, just freakin get this over with.

RRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
There goes the first strip and I want to scream the above mentioned words

"OHHHH KELLY CLARKSON!"

But I bite my lip instead and exhale... Now I'm thinking, what the fuck am I doing... seriously? Is it really that much of a hassle to shave?? Well, too late now, she's already getting the next strip ready.

RRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

Tears are running down my cheeks at this point.... I'm not crying, I think I'm just so anxious about this whole process that I keep squeezing my eyes together so tight.
Sveta then proceeds to rip a few more strips, and "tap" me lightly with her rubber gloved hand to make the burning go away... yeah... cause that's helping!

Here's the kicker...

In between strips, Sveta's telling me
"You look like someone famous, chu kno!"
Me: Uh huh... lets get a move on Sveta, you are WAY too close for comfort, now that my legs are in the air and your head is between my thighs...

RRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
"ADELE! You look just like Adele.. That's who it is!"

I know Adele... I find it awkward that she's talking about you during this too... 

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
"But more wayyyyy pretty my dear, way way pretty."
You know how people with poor english, put words in different places... "more way pretty"

RRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
"How you doin honey, just breath... I so so sorry honey."

I can't blame her. I did it to myself. I make these appointments, I walk in knowingly that I'm going through so much pain for a small-ish result.
I finish the process, I'm sweating like a hooker in church... but OH so glad to be done.
Now I just have to deal with my lulu's sticking to my skin/leftover wax for my drive home...

Thank God it was better than this... 

And in a few months, I'll probably be back... Why? I don't know...

Do you do anything maintenance wise that you have to go through an immense amount of pain for?
Or do you have a funny brazilian wax story you want to share?

Happy Tuesday Bitches,
XO
L

I'm a wine-a-holic.

This weekend was stellar. I normally come back to work on Monday, upset because I didn't have enough veg time, or because I had TOO much veg time.

Apparently, I'm easily unsatisfied... talk about high maintenance. *rolls eyes*

Friday night, the bestie, the sister and another gorg girlfriend trundled over to Miss L's Arbonne party for some make up tips & tricks! We'd all had an interesting week, Friday ending our work day poorly, so we all headed to a liquor store on our way and bought a bottle of wine each! #wineosannoymous
We were all pretty excited that we looked better with our new makeup than when we had shown up to the party... #maybeitwasthewine?

check these babes out... 

My girlfriends and I try to participate in girls night at least once a month... some people pop in and out of the events. We all have SO much fun together, we've gone to dinner theatres, had tea and treats at Dutchess, we've had an arts and crafts night..........

(which ended up being drunk arts and crafts... I would recommend not using a glue gun under the influence... Ouch!)

It's a great way for all of us to reconnect, get away from the dudes in our lives and chit chat about girl things! ; )


On Saturday, I went ape shit on my apartment. That morning, I had woken up with a teeny tiny hangover... woops! :/ But I had to head to my WW meeting. Which I was not looking forward to because I totes stopped at McDonald's on our way home at 2 am............. GAHH!
I was extremely disappointed in myself after my weigh in. I worked pretty hard this week with running and spinning and Zumba and just taking some extra steps.
My down fall? Discounted Easter chocolate. FML... After I'd gotten my head wrapped around starting a new week, I felt better.
Thank GOD Bestie was there to hold my hand through that meeting. I love that girl.

Later on, Bestie and I went to support our fellow drama nerd. Mr. Luc! He was performing his "final exam" for his first year in Theatre Arts at Grant MacEwan! && as usual, he was amazeballs... this kid has talent. I love to watch him perform and try to make it to most of his performances! <3
Also, his cast, rocked my socks too... I giggled through their amazing characterizations! It was a really perfect way to spend my Saturday night.

Luc is the one in the white t-shirt <3!!!

 

 

 

Zumba Sunday approached K and I fast... we were not totally a 10 that morning... but as soon as we hit Krista's class, we managed to make our way through the sweat with smiles on our faces. Krista Yuskow teaches our class on Sunday's! (If you want more info - check out this link to her page!)

She is AMAZINNNNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!! I cannot say enough about how freakin awesome this lady is!

 

K got to debut one of her new songs, to be used in her Tuesday night classes!

(check out her page here)

It was a blast and I am so looking forward to shakin it on Tuesday nights with my sister in law and friends!!! I can't wait...
*when I say shakin it, I hope you all don't get nightmares from the thought, invoice me for therapy needed*

 

Yup... that's totes what I look like!

For my weekly recommendation: Please go check out Hang On, Honey! What a darling this girl Beth is! I love her honesty and sarcasm! I totes feel like we are very alike! Plus, she's just so shiney!


Upcoming Posts: brazilians... why? I don't know, my OCD & strange habits, && one of my biggest fears revealed........

Happy Monday, y'all!

XO

L

stealing some Kardashian-ness...

I'm just gunna admit it... I LOVE watching The Kardashians. I'm not ashamed either.
Not. One. Bit.
It's my guilty pleasure.
However, I cut my cable because I really didn't want to be paying for something that I rarely use. Annnnddd it was the greatest excuse to get my butt to the gym, cause they have TV's on the treadmills...
I digress.

I used to watch the marathons in the winter on Saturday's. I would lay in bed, in my PJ's and in between, go nutso and clean my apartment as fast as I could to get back to watching the ridiculous-ness that family is.

Anyways.........
On the Kardashian's... they do PIT and PEAKS... I wanna start that.
So, every Friday, I wanna talk about the Pit and the Peak of my week!

I'm going to have more then one, obvie...

PEAKS:

- I & K being cozied in my apartment this week... It could be horrendous. But it's actually amazeballs. I'm loving sharing my space with them!

- Going to a job everyday that I don't hate!

- Spin, and my new found motiviation to get up and exercise! IT'S BACK!

- Thursday Power Walks & Talks with my best friend... seriously, an hour and a half of the best girl talk and venting?

 

I am seriously CRAZY blessed to have this girl in my life. Our friendship is real, and we totes understand each other. She is soooo supportive of me, and I am of course supportive of her. It's so amazing when you finally find that person that you just click with. <3 my Ty.

 

So now the PITS: #firstworldproblems

- I didn't get my butt out of bed early enough this week to make my morning smoothies...

- We're apparently getting 20 cm of SNOW this weekend.... I'm willing that to NAWT happen

- I can't find one of my T4's to file my taxes and it's driving me BONKERS...

 

 

This was me... eating my VEGETABLES with whipped Peanut Butter... it's less WW points, and it helps me gulp down a bag of veggies when I'm just not feelin it... I know, carrot's and PB? Who woulda thunk it... I eat at least one ziploc full of veggies a day (2 servings ish... maybe 2 and a half) Then I try to have veggies in my main meal for lunch/dinner too!
When I get my ass up to make a smoothie, there's normally 2 cups of spinach in there too!
So suck it vegetables... 5 servings is tough somedays!


So it's Friday, and I'm totes, obvie stoked! Cray Cray amounts! ;)
Lots of fun planned for my weekend...
Speaking of fun............................. this HAD to happen yesterday on my walk with Ty...

 

I promise, I'm actually 4... not 22.

Has anyone ever been on these things??? There is this new gravity thing at the parks now... when you sit in it, it automatically pulls at you and you start to spin faster and faster....

I can never stop laughing once I'm on them, it's a blast.

Except the feeling I'm going to vom afterwards...

OOOOHHHH!!! Please go give some love to Miss Jess from Operation Skinny Jeans! She posted yesterday about running for a mile straight. This is a huge feat when you've just started running! I am so proud of her!!! Way to go Jess!

 

Happy Friday, Bitches!
Have a great weekend!
XO

 





Spinnnnn

Last night, my sis and I went to the gym for our Spin classes that we've been neglecting. It was for real, amazeballs!!!
Spin is such a great work out, and intensely hard (depending upon your teacher) and more often then not, you are biking like 20 km in an hour!
It's AWESOME! Our spin teacher Erin is also amazing, she is just super energetic and is a blast to have at the front of the class.

This class was a little more full. There's normally about 5 older guys who bike like crazy! They come to spin mainly through the winter cause during the summer they are on their road bikes. Then there's some random college stragglers who come too! It's a pretty random group of people, but it's always fun!
Yesterday, I had this interesting encounter with the guy sitting beside me. He repeatedly kept saying "fuck" during our sprints and hills. I was having a really hard time containing my laughter, I'll admit it! It was just so random... Then his seat clip slipped and his seat sunk to the lowest level... and it was "What the fuck!!" The whole class giggled... although he did not, find this funny.
Sorry bout your junk bro!

Alllllll day, I was waiting for this class. I was so pumped to go and pound out some time on the bikes.

(Although I was not looking forward to how sore my crotch muscles would be today.. Oooowwwiiieee!)

I think I was angry at myself all day (still working on the satisfied), so working out morphed me into someone else! Yipppeee!
And I came home a happy camper!

 

#flexbreak

I & K (brother and sister in law) are living with me at the moment... long story short, there was a flood in their apartment... so we're all cozied up in my place for the time being! So when K and I got home from Spin, I had dinner all prepped and ready for divulging! and it was divine after an hour at the gym.... YUMMM!

Ground turkey, peppers, asparagus, penne and some cheese! mmmmmm!

 

 



The common comment when I talk with people about self confidence and weight loss and finding love, is that you really need to "love you" before someone else can love you. Loving me... interesting. That means so much more than I could have ever imagined.
Ever.

Almost two years ago now, I was in love. Full on love. Was set on marrying this guy.
Wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and make adorable little babies.

SCREEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Just kidding. The universe had a different plan.
(You can read the story about my slap in the face here.)
Sitting where I am in this moment. I'm pouring out so much grateful-ness (not a word? hmm. whatev.)
I am feeling extremely grateful that I got slapped.
So hard.
But Thank you sweet 8 pound, 9 oz baby jesus! (I have no idea how much "he/she" weighed...)

I'm living for me. I'm living independently.
I can honestly say, there are days of the week that I ACTUALLY love myself.
I do NOT shower in the dark anymore. (que tears streaming down my face)
I can look at myself in the mirror and truly know that I deserve good things.
And I'm gunna get em.

I never imagined that I would be 22, working full time, and starting a healthy life...
It blows me away that I almost gave away all of this to be with someone who didn't help me shine.
I am shiny! :) I love to BE shiny.

Ima keep on shining peeps!
And you should too!
XO

I need a manual...

In talking with a lot of people over the past little while... I've realized that it would be truly great if we all spoke our minds.
I'm sure it would make life a lot easier on myself AND others, if I could just say it as it is. Now, I'm already a pretty blunt person. Sometimes, TOO blunt.
I try to be really honest with people because that's what I expect in return. I hope if I'm being truthful with you, you'll be truthful with me. There are times though, that this disappears. It normally disappears when it involves another person's feelings. I really hate conflict... I mean who doesn't??

 If you enjoy conflict, please stop reading and head to the nearest Psychologist office. Thanks.

 

When we are open and honest with the intent to understand or help someone to understand, communication is swift and a lot more accurate. Intent... that's another thing I've been working on. When I get sensitive and defensive, I try to think of the person's intent. If you stop and think, "She/He is really not trying to say screw you to me by doing/saying this." It gives you a more broad perspective on the situation. Sometimes the person might be saying, screw you! But that's not your problem. Unless you've been confronted about this issue, how are you to know? I once had a friend who was constantly on the defense. Now that I think of it, sometimes her intent was to hurt, mainly cause she was hurting. Every word you spoke, she was ready at the attack to dish it right back to you... whether your words were positive or negative.

It was awful.

And damaging.

I started to find myself trying to impress her and prove myself to her, instead of just being me. When I tried to confront her, she lost it on me.

That was the end of that friendship.

Bitches be cray.

I assume.

A lot.

And it drives me crazy.

I assume someone doesn't like me, before they have even spoken to me.

I assume that you'll hate my baking, before it even touches your lips.

I gotta quit that shit. It's so damaging to myself.

Way too much self sabbotaging happens in my head throughout the day... Gotta quit that shit too! Is anyone else like that? What do you self sabbotage the most about? Do you even realize you do it? Sometimes I can go a whole day without even knowing I've done it, ending the day completely and emotionally drained and I can't figure out why... How about all the energy I put into hating myself for the day? *I'm still practicing with being satisfied.

 

 

My weekend was emotionally draining. I was super hard on myself. I drove to Fort Mac to visit with my parents and spent 2 hours and 45 minutes out of my 5 hour drive, bitching in my head about my weight loss. It wasn't until about 3 am the next morning, that I realized what I'd been doing for that long.... what a waste! I guess when all you have are trees, the occasional oddly shaped rock, and blue outhouses to look at for that long, your head starts to go nutso...

 

This drive is OH SO boring...

 



 

The weekend came to an extremely quick END... all of a sudden it was Sunday, and I was back on HWY 63 heading south. This time, trying very hard to not beat the shit out of myself the whole way home for not going for a run at all over the weekend... But I did it anyways. So by the time I was an hour out of town, I had decided I wasn't even going near home. I headed a completely different direction... straight to the GYM. I busted out a few km's on the treadmill/spin bike to spit my anger somewhere. It was at this point I realized, I don't think I drank a lick of water yet that day, and all I'd had was coffee and about 15 strawberries... It was 5pm. #whoooops! I nearly fell off the spin bike at one point and didn't think I was going to make it to the changeroom.........

 

 

A rather unattractive photo, but #whogivesashit

If you aren't ugly after a work out, you're doing it WRONG...

 

This blog post is kinda all over the place, but it's my thoughts... and I share those with you. You lucky ducks...

 

OOO! I also pounded out some Wedding Invitations for my cousin this weekend! My mom, another bridesmaid and the bride herself, punched, tied, dabbed and wrote all of her invitations for her Summer wedding (coming up in 65 days!!!!) It was super exciting to get them all done in one day!

 

 

 

I hope y'all have a happy and swift moving week... Ima leave you with a picture of the fur baby and my mantra as of late.... XO

 

 



 



 



Pet Peeves

- those tough mornings that you try to get into your jeans that the hubs/boyfriend/okay-I'll-admit-it-I-was-too-lazy-to-hang-them-to-dry, accidently put into the dryer... so you have to wrap your fingers into those belt loops and jump whilst pulling the jeans up... It's a movement I'm familiar with... but really wish I wasn't... one of these days I swear I'll be able to just slide into a pair of jeans with no hassle (*Now I'm just thinking about the Friends Episode with Ross and his leather pants...)

- how bout those thigh holes in your jeans... I know I'm NOT alone here ladies! It happens, it's pisses me off so bad, but it happens. I'll be the first to tell y'all that I DO NOT have a thigh gap. And I'm kinda okay with it, other than this annoying thing that happens because I have meat on my thighs!!!!!!!!!

- People who drag their feet when they walk... PICK UP YOUR FEET. My dad instilled this in me when we were little, it annoyed him to no end.

- People who don't clean up after themselves. I work in an office, full of people who make a gazillion dollars, but can't seem to put a coffee cup in the dishwasher when they've finished with it. It AMAZES me that they just leave it for someone else to do....... I could go on and on about this...

- The Pop-your-personal-space-bubble-people. Sometimes I just want to pull away and go "Hi... you DO YOU MIND?"

- How much hair I lose in a day... I don't know how or why, but I had to buy a dirt devil specifically for this issue in my bathoom. How ridiculous? I know I'm not alone, but I think I could make a pet out of the amount of hair I lose in ONE morning...

I think that's it... I'm sure there are more, but I'll stop here. Do y'all have any pet peeves??

OH WAIT...

- ALBERTA WEATHER... Today this is a pet peeve of mine. BOO YOU SNOW! I had my flats out already, even wore flip flops out. Go away! Go Snow yourself!


Have a good weekend!!! I'm heading out onto Highway 63 today............ Sweet baby Jesus..........