I'm sure it would make life a lot easier on myself AND others, if I could just say it as it is. Now, I'm already a pretty blunt person. Sometimes, TOO blunt.
I try to be really honest with people because that's what I expect in return. I hope if I'm being truthful with you, you'll be truthful with me. There are times though, that this disappears. It normally disappears when it involves another person's feelings. I really hate conflict... I mean who doesn't??
If you enjoy conflict, please stop reading and head to the nearest Psychologist office. Thanks.
When we are open and honest with the intent to understand or help someone to understand, communication is swift and a lot more accurate. Intent... that's another thing I've been working on. When I get sensitive and defensive, I try to think of the person's intent. If you stop and think, "She/He is really not trying to say screw you to me by doing/saying this." It gives you a more broad perspective on the situation. Sometimes the person might be saying, screw you! But that's not your problem. Unless you've been confronted about this issue, how are you to know? I once had a friend who was constantly on the defense. Now that I think of it, sometimes her intent was to hurt, mainly cause she was hurting. Every word you spoke, she was ready at the attack to dish it right back to you... whether your words were positive or negative.
It was awful.
And damaging.
I started to find myself trying to impress her and prove myself to her, instead of just being me. When I tried to confront her, she lost it on me.
That was the end of that friendship.
Bitches be cray.
I assume.
A lot.
And it drives me crazy.
I assume someone doesn't like me, before they have even spoken to me.
I assume that you'll hate my baking, before it even touches your lips.
I gotta quit that shit. It's so damaging to myself.
Way too much self sabbotaging happens in my head throughout the day... Gotta quit that shit too! Is anyone else like that? What do you self sabbotage the most about? Do you even realize you do it? Sometimes I can go a whole day without even knowing I've done it, ending the day completely and emotionally drained and I can't figure out why... How about all the energy I put into hating myself for the day? *I'm still practicing with being satisfied.
My weekend was emotionally draining. I was super hard on myself. I drove to Fort Mac to visit with my parents and spent 2 hours and 45 minutes out of my 5 hour drive, bitching in my head about my weight loss. It wasn't until about 3 am the next morning, that I realized what I'd been doing for that long.... what a waste! I guess when all you have are trees, the occasional oddly shaped rock, and blue outhouses to look at for that long, your head starts to go nutso...
This drive is OH SO boring...
The weekend came to an extremely quick END... all of a sudden it was Sunday, and I was back on HWY 63 heading south. This time, trying very hard to not beat the shit out of myself the whole way home for not going for a run at all over the weekend... But I did it anyways. So by the time I was an hour out of town, I had decided I wasn't even going near home. I headed a completely different direction... straight to the GYM. I busted out a few km's on the treadmill/spin bike to spit my anger somewhere. It was at this point I realized, I don't think I drank a lick of water yet that day, and all I'd had was coffee and about 15 strawberries... It was 5pm. #whoooops! I nearly fell off the spin bike at one point and didn't think I was going to make it to the changeroom.........
A rather unattractive photo, but #whogivesashit
If you aren't ugly after a work out, you're doing it WRONG...
This blog post is kinda all over the place, but it's my thoughts... and I share those with you. You lucky ducks...
OOO! I also pounded out some Wedding Invitations for my cousin this weekend! My mom, another bridesmaid and the bride herself, punched, tied, dabbed and wrote all of her invitations for her Summer wedding (coming up in 65 days!!!!) It was super exciting to get them all done in one day!
I hope y'all have a happy and swift moving week... Ima leave you with a picture of the fur baby and my mantra as of late.... XO
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