It makes some people cringe, scream and sometimes makes adults cry...
Or it makes you scream "OOOOOHHHH KELLY CLARKSON!" if you're Steve Carrell.
I was totes nervous for my first experience near hot wax... I mean, even when I was just getting my eyebrows done I was nervous.
My legs, didn't hurt at all.
But my Hoo Ha!?
Oh sweet lordie above...
Why do we do these things to ourselves ladies? For me, it's just a maintenance thing. It's much easier and one less thing to worry about. It's a preference.
I go into this spa place for my 2 or 3rd I can't remember, brazilian experience.
This TINY, and I mean TINY Russian woman, Sveta, who doesn't speak great english is in charge of this process.
I'm nervous, cause lets admit it... it doesn't feel great. It just doesn't.
She talks me up, makes me put my legs into frog position (*awkwardddddd*) ....
Then, she does it. She takes the hot wax near my southern parts...
I start breathing heavy, she pulls the wax away and says
"Honey, just breath... just breath honey."
Me in my mind: Lady, just freakin get this over with.
RRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
There goes the first strip and I want to scream the above mentioned words
"OHHHH KELLY CLARKSON!"
But I bite my lip instead and exhale... Now I'm thinking, what the fuck am I doing... seriously? Is it really that much of a hassle to shave?? Well, too late now, she's already getting the next strip ready.
RRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
Tears are running down my cheeks at this point.... I'm not crying, I think I'm just so anxious about this whole process that I keep squeezing my eyes together so tight.
Sveta then proceeds to rip a few more strips, and "tap" me lightly with her rubber gloved hand to make the burning go away... yeah... cause that's helping!
Here's the kicker...
In between strips, Sveta's telling me
"You look like someone famous, chu kno!"
Me: Uh huh... lets get a move on Sveta, you are WAY too close for comfort, now that my legs are in the air and your head is between my thighs...
RRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
"ADELE! You look just like Adele.. That's who it is!"
I know Adele... I find it awkward that she's talking about you during this too...
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
"But more wayyyyy pretty my dear, way way pretty."
You know how people with poor english, put words in different places... "more way pretty"
RRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
"How you doin honey, just breath... I so so sorry honey."
I can't blame her. I did it to myself. I make these appointments, I walk in knowingly that I'm going through so much pain for a small-ish result.
I finish the process, I'm sweating like a hooker in church... but OH so glad to be done.
Now I just have to deal with my lulu's sticking to my skin/leftover wax for my drive home...
Thank God it was better than this...
And in a few months, I'll probably be back... Why? I don't know...
Do you do anything maintenance wise that you have to go through an immense amount of pain for?
Or do you have a funny brazilian wax story you want to share?
Happy Tuesday Bitches,
XO
L
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