just not feelin it

Ever have one of those days you just feel like the world is SLAMMIN the shit outta you...
This week, it's my turn apparently... supa shittttayyy!

So all the excuses in the world, I've used this week. I'm struggling majorly with my weight loss lately, and I can't seem to wrap my head around it long enough to get a head start. I remember last summer when I lost a significant amount of weight, I was happy. I was satisfied and I felt so great. I need to get my head back in the game. Cause this is not acceptable. I'm back to the spot of eating and knowing I shouldn't be eating whats in my hand... the minute I do that, I spin out of control. I can't help it at all. Some people are just like "stop it. Just don't eat it." YOU don't understand what the feeling even means. Emotional eating is just like an eating disorder, just completely the opposite way. I get into these ruts and I need to CHOOSE to pull myself out. I'm so annoyed at myself right now.

As I'm typing I'm getting more annoyed, so Ima leave this topic be for a bit! 

I've got some pretty big decisions to make this weekend. My parent's are coming down for Easter to spend some time with all of us, so I'm hoping to enlist their opinions.
I've been seriously thinking about going back to school to take my business management certificate so I can finally get rolling on the big dreams I've got in my head. (here's hoping that Ima be able to make em all work!!!) I've also had a few opportunities pop up for extra moola... which is always a positive! And I need to buy a new vehicle... Yikes! That's a huge scary thing to take on, but also ridiculously exciting cause this girls wheels are a weeee bit boat like at the moment. My car is also starting to sound like a lawnmower... so that's also super attractive! :S

Anyways, I hope everyone has a super amaze balls Easter weekend! Whatever you do, I hope there's lots of laughs and smiles involved!

PS. I get to keep this adorable fur baby for the week.... I'm seriously excited for it! She's so hard NOT to love...

You cannot say no to that face... you just cant!

 

Annual Banff trip

I started working with this fantastic company in September, and I have to say these people work HARD but play HARDER...

So far, we've had a handful of events and they've never disappointed. My company knows what's up!
This weekend, we all drove down to Banff. It was phenomenal. We celebrated two birthdays, some people skied, some boarded, and others *me included* Spa'd... or sleeping in and vegging

I enjoyed a glorious 90 minute spearamint and peppermint massage! I'm pretty sure I became a whole new person that day... I may, or may not, have been hungover... so that was warmly welcomed. My massage therapist was so detailed about my previous injuries and health history that she even provided me with ice and heat for my recently tore ligements! All in all, the spa experience was WELL worth the amount of money spent!

Small side note: my sister in law and I work for the same real estate company.

She is an amazingly talented Graphic Designer!
So anytime we have a work event, it duals as many fun times together!

My brother also starts in a different department of the company next week!!!

So this weekend, K and my brother and I all got to go to Banff.
It was a blast! We always have such great times together!
XO

Back to our regular scheduled programming...

After our delightful massages, we wandered downtown for some AMAZING AMAZE BALLS, pizza. These wonderful people at The Bear Street Tavern, provided us with the best kept secret... which I'm about to ruin... Olive oil, sweet chili flakes and rosemary drizzled on your pizza then topped off with Honey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, all 4 of us ladies at lunch were astonished at the chart topping deliciousness of this blended glory. Try it. Right now. GO. I had it on goat cheese and spinach pizza. I was trying to be at least a little bad good on this trip and decided to just try and make healthier choices. It felt like SUCH a bad choice, but it was actually a decent one!

Later on, we all went to St. James Gate for some party time. We celebrated two birthdays, drank lots, ate delicious food again and danced our butts off completely. This weekend was a great time!

I'm feeling a little guilty for indulging as much as I did. But it happened, and I've gotta deal with it. Meal planning last week went straight to the garbage... unfortunately. This week, I've got a lot of vegetables to catch up on, and hopefully a few work out sessions. I'm not totally back (torn ligaments wise) but I'm hoping to start 30 day shred in April. I'll post before and after photos to show the progress!

I hope you all had a fabulous weekend!

Create a beautiful Monday y'all!

XOXO







I couldn't have said it better...

There are somethings that I would never want to admit... but sometimes, when you find someone that speaks about the same troubles that you've been facing it makes you feel stronger to admit things.

Mama Laughlin and Skinny Megs are two women from Dallas Texas who had inspired me to write about my weight loss journey and who has motivated my butt straight to the gym. These two women are UNREAL. I am in awe of them both. I often find myself reading their posts, laughing, crying, smiling at what they've written for the day. Both of them have overcome major weight challenges and struggles and continue to keep on moving. The day I found these blogs, was the day I promised myself I was going to change.

Today, on Mama Laughlin's blog, she wrote about how she wanted to be anorexic. Every, and I mean EVERY word she wrote about her feelings and sturggles with the desire for an eating disorder is how I felt. I'll be honest, I've googled it before, I've looked for tips on how to become anorexic or bulimic. One thing that always snapped me back into reality, is that I could NEVER put my family/friends through the pain of seeing me deteriorate to bones and eventually dust. Then, I started to think about how unhealthy and unhappy I would be in turn. So all in all, I've never really had an eating disorder.
But my realtionship with food, is unhealthy, and I still feel like it is an "eating disorder".

Please go to Mama Laughlin's page and give her some love for putting this out there for women/men to read and feel like they are not alone. While you're at it... hit up Skinny Megs too! Share the love y'all!

Love!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

http://www.mamalaughlin.com/2013/03/i-wanted-to-be-anorexic.html

http://missmadisonscharmedlife.blogspot.com/

Happy St. Patty's day, Y'All!!!!

This weekend was absolutely fun filled! I loved every second of it!!
On Friday, I had one of my favorite people over to watch Mean Girls and Bridesmaids. James and I have been friends since high school, and no matter where we are or what's going on in our lives we always make time to connect. That's exactly what I love about James. He's a) an amazing person and friend, he's always been there for me and was especially good at making me get out of bed in my fetal position-non pant days b) he is so honest with me. And I truly love that in a friend. I don't want someone to bullshit me. He calls me on my shit and I appreciate that.
We have a blast together, we alway laugh. It's awesome. : )


Then, on Saturday, I had the dreaded weigh in... Which... I LOST a pound at. YUP, you read that right, I lost a pound boooooo ya bitches! My bestie came into the city to join me in St Patty's Day Eve cupcake baking (Skinnytaste Bailey Irish cream cupcakes - recipe link to follow) as we started a tradition of ordering Chinese food and drinking delicious wine!

(http://www.skinnytaste.com/2012/03/chocolate-stout-cupcakes-with-baileys.html)

On Sunday morning, Natalya and I met up with my sister in law and another friend and headed to work off the wine and Chinese food at Zumba!
Side note: since I was recently on crutches, I have to do Zumba on a chair... It's special, let me tell you. ;) my sister in law just got certified to be a Zumba Instructor, so I've been trying to make it to every class no matter what.
After Zumba we all went out to a local bakery for tea and treats! It was the perfect way to end our girls day!
Now I'm chillin at my brothers&sis in laws! We normally all hang out on Sundays! So naturally we had to FaceTime my parents, which is always an interesting time! I love them!

So all in all, it was an awesome weekend! I'm so exited to slowly make my way back into working out this week!

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!!!!

TGIF!

It's FRIDAYYYYYYY! and I could not be happier about that...

This week felt like I blacked out and became this physco binge eater! YUCK! I'm almost positive if you put a small child in front of me and told me they tasted like M&M's... I'd give it a try! No for real. UGH.

Saturday morning's weigh in is going to be hell... I'm gunna feel all guilty in the morning and hate myself for what I did all week. But I need to go and feel accountable for what I've done. It's a part of the process. I really need to get back into the wagon... cause right now, I'm hangin on by my fingernails, flying off the end of it!

So this week, I'm trying meal planning...
I'm going to get a few recipe ideas from Skinnytaste, and on Sunday, I'm going to have everything in my place ready to be prepared for the week. Hopefully by doing this, I'll have no excuses to not make dinner after I come home from work.
I'll let y'all know how it goes! I'll also by off my crutches, hopefully on Monday, next week... so I finally get to get back into the gym and move a little. I am DYING to get back to my AM workouts, plus my gym just re-opened the pool too so I am looking forward to adding in some laps as well!
Is anyone else into AM workouts more than PM's?? I seem to find myself way more motivated to just get er done in the morning!

Can't wait!!!!!!!!

 

 

Also... I just wanna give a shout out to my best friend! She's been working her ass off this year in school. She is going to be the best teacher ever!!! I'm so proud! Today she is writing her last final of this semester, and I can't wait to celebrate with wine and cupcakes... as said by Mr. Gosling!

 

 

 



sometimes I just shake my head... at myself

In my last post I mentioned that I was on crutches right now....

I swear I'm a disaster waiting to happen... if it's not one thing with me, it's another. 

My best friend and I just got home from California! We had this trip planned for almost a year, and were anxiously awaiting a Feb 16 departure date! 

Well, on the trip I began to experience extreme foot pain... as luck would have it, after coming home and getting checked out, I tore two ligaments in my foot! 

So, I'm on crutches, waiting for this thing to heal. Did I ever mention that I'm realllllllly stubborn?? Well I am, and boy is it showing. 

Let's just say, that you basically need someone with you 24/7 to help you with everything. Well not everything, I'm being dramatic... but most things. 

Like hey, after your WW meeting, you go grab a coffee to bring back home with you before you start your day. And you wait in this horrendous line up because you don't want to crutch into the Tim's and not be able to crutch back out with it... (foreshadowing...) You finally get home, pull into your parking spot, go to get out of the car and realize that you can't carry the coffee upstairs anyways... 

Yeah, so there I am... sitting in my parkade, drinking my coffee. 

I was SO frustrated.

anyways... moving on, I'm letting that go!
As I'm somewhat out of commison I'm learning that my body is giving me the stop hand. I need to slow down, take a breather and just surrender to it. It's been a tough couple of weeks (ahem... cause I'm stubborn) but I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! YIPPEEEEE!

In other news, I'm signing up for my doula certification this month! and I can't wait to get that underway! These past few weeks I've had an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. Like I'm not going anywhere. I feel like I've stalled and am stuck in the mud. Today I finally feel like if I'm going to be stuck in the mud, I might as well have fun and make a pie! Right? I just made that up as I typed... who knows...

And for a little giggle..................

 

 

Cheers to Wednesday, bitches!!!!!!!!

 

Sweet Saturday's!

I'm sitting at my weight watchers meeting waiting for my leader to start. I stayed pretty much the same weight this week, which I expected due to the fact I'm on crutches.
This meeting is filled (about 25-35 people every Saturday morning). It never fails to amaze me how so many strangers can make me feel good. Everyone in here is different, on their own journey and doing this weight loss in a different way. What brings us together is the common that we want to be healthy. I look forward to my Saturdays. Last night, I had myself talked entirely out of going this morning... Until something in me said "the week you plan to miss is the week you need it the most"
After I weighed in, I watched someone else weigh in. And she sobbed at the results. I thought to myself that she must have gained, but when she sat down, she told me she made the 30 lbs lost mark. I'm so proud of this complete stranger.

I am also so proud of myself. I made a promise to myself, and I'm committed to keeping it.
Weight gains suck... But being accountable to yourself, rocks!
Happy Saturday!

Color me RAD - Edmonton

Yesterday I signed a few girlfriends of mine and myself up for this totally amazing 5K run in July.
It's called color me RAD. Esentially, you start out wearing a white shirt, and end up completely multi colored by the end of the run! How fun! Durning the run, they have volunteers that chuck paint at you while you run by... I am SO excited to do this!
Edmonton completely sold out by 5 pm yesterday, all proceeds are going to The Stollery Childrens' Hospital. Which is right up my alley, because Little G spent alot of time here.

Kayla, Natalya & Lauren - 5K, July 6, 2013

 

 

Besides running lightly jogging my way through a few runs in the past, this will be the first time I'm truly dedicating myself to run the full 5K... With some amazing girls nonetheless! It's definitely something I want to knock of my list, so I can get myself to training marathon style!

So now I need to get my butt to the treadmill while waiting for the ice to melt on the sidewalks around my place.

 

 

 

 

 



What do you wanna be when you grow up?

I mentioned in a previous post that I am no longer in school.
And MAN and I happy about that.

I was in school for no reason. I was there because I thought I was supposed to be. I picked something that I had interest in, but not something I truly wanted.
I was on my way to be a teacher. The reason I chose to go for my BofEd, was because I wanted to give kids what I never had growing up. And that was support in the school system.
I still want that for kids, especially my future ones. But I wasn't passionate enough to spend my whole life doing that.

SO here I am... working full time for the time being. I will admit that I do miss school, but not enough to be doing something for nothing.
When I no longer *ahem* went to school (I avoid saying "kicked out" or "required to withdraw"), I was mortified. I kept thinking I failed.
In reality, I failed myself. I wasn't being true to myself.
Confession time: Raise your hand if you're a people pleaser! Once again... both hands are flyin high!
I was in school for everyone else, not me. First mistake.

SO what do I want to be when I grow up? I want to be AWESOME... really though, I don't know yet. I know that I'm going to take my doula certification. And perhaps get a business diploma and be my own boss somewhere down the road. For right now though, I'm just going to be me. I'm going to rock at being independant, self confident and a kick ass receptionist!

I'll figure out the rest later!

Maybe one day, I'll have my name on one of these...

I'll just keep dreaming ; )

Hi my name is Lauren, and I love myself.

Something that I truly believe in, is positive affirmation.
Ya need to have a clean, positive mindset in order to experience happiness and goodness in your life.

I started writing little post it notes, or with window writers on my mirrors... just little reminders throughout my home of things that I loved about myself.
It was hard at first. My first post it note said "shoulders". I like my shoulders. But hey! It was something I actually liked about myself.

Something I say often to myself is, "I decide..." So, I decide if I'm happy, sad, angry, flustered, confused...
When you put that into perspective. You get to wake up every day and decide how your day will be. Somedays I try on something new... today I'm trying out satisfied.

When I did my personal development work, I gained a lot of power. I realized I'd also been wasting a lot of that power and energy on things that, in the bigger picture, meant eff all. From then on, I've been trying to put my positive energy in front. There was a time when I was so focussed on being this positive image that I wasn't dealing with the things that were truly bothering me because I thought I had to be positive. That's not what I'm saying.
Please listen to the emotions that you're body is feeling. Trust that you're going through this. It's important to feel it all. All I'm saying is don't sit in the muck of negativity too long. Give yourself a while to feel what you're feeling, then decide to move from that space.

It's truly something that takes practice. Once you start to listen to yourself, trust yourself and open up to the idea of a positive space... it's amazing what aligns for you!

Create that for yourself!
Happy Monday!