"You've lost weight this week"

I hit up my regular Saturday morning meeting this week. Filled with the faces I love to see, & even though I haven't been in a while... I still got the warm fuzzy feeling I always get from my WW peeps!

I wasn't nervous or excited about this meeting.
I knew it might not be what I wanted to hear... but I knew I needed to hear it.
Whatever the number was, I'll deal with it.
I kept repeating this to myself all week.
You've done it before, you can do it again.
Yet, I found myself "going easy", I didn't beat myself up too much. There were moments of "um you sure you wanna do that?" but there were also moments where I made the right decision... I mean I ordered a veggie platter at The Canadian Brewhouse for Pete's sake... that's dedication!

I stood on the scale.
"You're down 4.6 this week"
I'M SORRY, WHAT?!?
How in the hell did that happen?
My response was "Well it's about time!"
But, I hadn't really done anything.
I did work out a few times, I watched what I was eating way better & I didn't eat a scone for breakfast every. single. morning.
It's the little things is what I'm trying to say.
If you are out there, somewhere, and struggling to find a way to start... start itty bitty.
Start with replacing the 3rd Full fat latte of the day, with tea or water.
Start by adding a handful of almonds in between your meals.
Don't just quit cold turkey.

The reason I love weight watchers is because of exactly that.
You don't have to QUIT anything.
Everything is in moderation. If you want it, have it... but don't eat 15 reese peanut butter cups in one sitting.
That's just not okay & you'll probably get diabetes.
Plus, that shit
does not make you feel good about yourself.

I promised myself I would learn to love me for me.
Whether heavy or light... whether fast or slow...
I was learning to love myself for my imperfections. No. Matter. What.

Did I take a hiatus from running for the month of December? Yup.
Did I overindulge on Holiday goodness? A little bit, yup.
Did I consistently call myself fat & ugly? NOPE.

There's my change.
I know I'm not fat & ugly. NO ONE IS.
I will always struggle with my relationship with food... but that's okay.
I have accepted that food & I don't always get along, but I'm stronger now & have way more tools and support to make it through the days that food tries to succumb me.

2014, will be the tits.
It already has been.
I'm still dedicated, I'm running a half marathon & I love myself.
What more could I need?