Grace & Love

I'm a believer in personal development & learning in many ways to improve myself and be the BEST Lauren I can be.

I've done some "seminar" workshops in the past few years, starting when I was 18.
It was SO enlightening & I was made more aware of so much about myself that I had either decided to hide from or just ignore entirely.
The last seminar I participated in completely changed my life & threw me 180 from where I was.
I wanted the clarity and peace that they provided me again.
I found myself craving it.
So when the opportunity to play "The Samurai Game" arose.. I went for it, immediately. No excuses, I decided I would make the payments work, I was just going to DIVE right in.

This weekend provided me with more than I figured it would. As time approached, I found myself not actually wanting to participate at all.
There were ample moments that my entire body was in full out resistance to the idea of me going to this seminar.
But I went anyways.
I'm not going to talk details at all.
But I am going to say... I am releasing the idea that I am a failure & disappointment.
And I am stepping into the ability to be loved & practice grace!
Pretty freakin' wicked weekend if you ask me.

So with that, I am recommitting to myself and the ability to practice SELF LOVE.
I went out on a run last night, needed to clear my head and just spend some time with my feet and the pavement... or should I say ICE.
EFF MY LIFE.
1. I CANNOT run on a treadmill. I mean I COULD, but I choose not to. I will die of boredom and give up 20 minutes in unless I have countless hours of the Kardashian's to watch in front of me.
2. I WILL NOT run on a track alone. Natalya and I hit up the Kinsmen track last week - and it was awesome, but only because I had her beside me to bitch & complain with.

So my determined little self, laced up, and I headed outside to wander for a while.
I have a path that I absolutely LOVE to run... but I haven't ran it in a while, due to the extremely cold temps and I wasn't sure if it would be clear.
I took the chance last night, because I was so determined and there was something in me that just needed to be pushed.
I found myself in a groove a lot sooner than I normally am.
Most of the paths were bare, until the end of my run.
There were the "oh shitttttt" moments where I caught myself as I was sliding around the downtown paths.
Until this one moment... when I was slowly... and I mean S.L.O.W.....L..........Y running up this perfect sheet of ice.
{I realize that this is ridiculous & some of you are probably like, why did you even go this way?
But it was dark & it's my path and I don't normally stray from it cause I'm scared to go elsewhere and get kidnapped.}
So here I am, slowly chugging up this hill, when it happens...
I lose my footing.
My fingers brisk the ice.
I feel contact with the ice to my chest.
& I'm sliding.
Down.
Faster & Faster.
I hear "oooommmmmfffff"
I've run into another human being whose trying to help me up without me taking him down with me.
{Only in Lauren's life...}

I embarrassingly accepted his help up. And thanked up, while turning bright red & nervously giggling at the thought of him watching me slide stomach first down this hill...
Best part? ... He never said A WORD.
Not once.
Talk about AWKWARD.
I went off on my merry way and finished a lovely 9.94km's in 59 minutes.
Yay me! Boo City for your absolute SHIT pathways...
Remind me again?
Oh right, I'm practicing GRACE... obviously not very literally.

Happy Tuesday
XO